wake up call

a few nights ago, our new puppy, Fielder, woke me up barking. he NEVER barks at night, so obviously, I jumped out of bed. I heard a murmur in ebk's room... so I went in to check on her. she was BURNING up. I yelled for Judson to get up + get her some pedialyte, while I stripped her down to take her temp. 1 0 6. 106 degrees. my baby was literally burning. I yelled to Judson that we had to get her to the ER immediately.

we stopped as we walked out the door + said a quick prayer. for God to protect our girl. simple + to the point.

we were immediately taken to the triage room + then ushered into a room for us to stay put. they ordered every single test there was to order to try to get answers. Judson took ebk to get an xray, and I was left alone for the first time. and that's where my heart started to crumble...

mommas out there who have a child with an illness. mommas who have lost a child. mommas who have had WAY more scary a situation than I experienced that night... you are my hero.

when we got pregnant, we told the Lord that we knew that our child was really HIS child + was on loan to us. we were charged with raising this life... nurturing, loving, disciplining, teaching. when she was born, we gave thanks + praise for our precious gift. again, we said, she is YOURS.

it wasn't until I was left alone in the early morning hours in a hospital room that I realized the weight of that statement. it's not a statement at all... it's a way of life. letting go + trusting God with every fiber of your being is a way of life. I confessed to Him then + there that I didn't understand the weight of my promise. I didn't understand that it wasn't just a blanket, "oh cool, God... she's totally Yours. You got this! <high five>"

ebk is not mine. she is not Judson's. she's not anyone's but the unseen, never-failing, always-present Father. and I am great with that.

so, with all of this being said, I'm thankful for that night in the ER. I'm thankful for the MASSIVE lesson God taught me. I'm also thankful for His wonderful act of healing our girl that night. I'm thankful for being able to sit back + rehash that night + clearly see His Hand at work.... which I need to share... because Jesus is good.

  • Fielder was listening. what an incredible guard dog! he + ebk have such a special bond. he got lots of treats, snuggles + petting when we got home.

  • the ER nurse got her start in pediatric nursing. she SPECIALIZED in kids, y'all. we live in a small, rural town... her being on shift was not just by chance at all.

  • ebk has great veins where they were able to get her IV in on the first try. apparently this is a HUGE praise... I had no idea.

  • we have a state-of-the-art hospital in our town of 13,000 people. there are many places in this country + in the world that don't have that. I'm so proud of ETMC Henderson... and I'm super proud to be on staff there. the fact that we don't HAVE to drive 30-45 minutes from our home to get help is a HUGE blessing.

  • ebk's fever went down real quickly. she is such a little trooper. the fever wasn't caused by anything serious. her ear infection had just reared it's ugly little head.

  • Judson was home. he works a rotating shift of days + nights. I am SO thankful he was home that night to help me to stay calm + collected. he's so stinking good at being calm.... HOW?!?!?!

  • our parents are true gifts. we waiting until we heard back from all of the tests before we let them know. within 30 minutes, they were in the room with us. they brought us food, stayed at the house that day to help with ebk while Judson + I slept. they prayed over ebk. I can't express how thankful I am to be in the same town as all of them.

PRAISE GOD TO WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW, y'all. may we always have our hearts centered... especially when facing trials.

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